Meet the SUPERS
Posted by Administrator | December 12, 2017 | Blog
Many of us are constantly striving to be the perfect in all areas of our lives. At work, at home and with ourselves! How do I know? Because I was too.
• Work fiercely and tirelessly to accomplish everything possible, driven by a to-do list that is TOO long?
• Constantly struggle for perfectionism, productivity and performance in all areas of your life but even though you achieve much of this, you feel overwhelmed, remain unhappy, unsatisfied and you don’t feel good on the inside?
If this sounds like you, then you are battling the “super” syndrome. You want to be able to do it all and ultimately, what you want is happiness for you and your family.
It’s neurology. We automatically react to ANYTING in our lives that we don’t want to happen, otherwise known as our ‘Don’t Wants.’ Often times we don’t see our reactions or only see them after the fact.
One of the hidden reactions of the brain comes when we believe that if we are perfect, in control and get things done, we’ll be ok, we’ll be happy. It’s how we will survive.
Well, this sets us up to face the constant ‘Don’t Want’ of making mistakes and not being perfect. That can cause us to be unhappy and not feel good on the inside, while struggling for and working hard on looking almost perfect on the outside. This is what is called the “Super” syndrome, and it affects men, women and children alike.
There are three SUPER’S - the SuperMom, The SuperMan and the Super Child. Some of their characteristics include:
• Needs to control all aspects of her parenting, partnership and professional life
• Strives for perfectionism in all areas of her parenting, partnership and professional life
• Desires flawless productivity and completion of her checklist in all areas of her life on a daily basis
• Works tirelessly for the perfect work, life balance
• Exhausted, over-whelmed and anxious
• Focuses on the external appearance of perfection despite what it may feel like on the outside
• Justifies the need for perfection…or almost perfect!
• Plays the role of the leader
• Works tirelessly to be a good provider for his family
• Feels great responsibility to be the protector of his family
• Needs to be strong and powerful in all areas of his parenting, partnership and professional life
• Keeps his emotions, fears and doubts hidden to protect his family and career
• Always needs to be dependable and ambitious
• Fixes all problems and must appear to always be in control
• Seeks to have certainty, control and a plan
• Identity of the child as an individual is lost to the family
• Feels responsible for the emotional stability of all family members
• Keeps own emotions hidden from others
• Poor tolerance of errors and mistakes
• Hard on themselves…highly critical and judgmental of self
• Holds the responsibility of keeping the family together
• Compensates with good behavior and good grades
• When pressure is too much, emotional overwhelm takes over and the child can become anxious, drop in grades, change in behavior
• Maintains faccade of control and good behavior externally, but can struggle at home.
Do you want to change and respond rather than react more in your life? First, identify the behavior you want to change, for example the Super Syndrome. You can keep the Super, just drop the Syndrome. Once you identify this, you can retrain your brain to create new patterns of behavior. You can learn how to use your brain to work for you, rather than against you.
So, say hello to Neuroplasticity and goodbye to those old habits- even the habit of perfectionism, control and the Super-syndrome!